What Happens in Paris, Stays in Paris
by xXStarlighttXx
Summary: "How... How drunk are you?" "Drunk enough to have sex with you... Not so much that you'd feel guilty, though" "Good enough for me... That's the perfect amount!"


**Okay, so this is really random... I wrote this at, like, two in the morning because I couldn't sleep.  
**

**Yeah, this was inspired from the scene in Friends where everyone is in London for Ross' wedding and Monica goes looking for Chandler cause she's drunk and wants to have sex with him... And then Joey walks in looking for condoms. Enjoy. xD **

**Don't ask why it takes place in Paris, though. I just thought It'd fit... somehow... **

* * *

**What Happens in Paris, Stays in Paris**

Athena was pissed.

The creepy waiters kept going up to her every five minutes offering her drinks and using Apollo's cheesy pick up lines, so she went to the lobby of the hotel. She sat down on a couch and started reading a magazine for about fifteen minutes until she noticed the concierge staring at her. So she went up to the room she had to share with Aphrodite and found a maid and the guy from the room next to theirs making out in there. On her way down to the first floor in the elevator, some old creep started hitting on her and had taken it a bit too far. And on her way back to the rehearsal dinner, a guy asked if he could paint a picture of her naked. If she hadn't promised Annabeth that she wouldn't use any of her godly powers for the weekend, they wouldn't be alive anymore.

And apparently that wasn't enough because Aphrodite just_ had_ to call the waiters, Marco and Andre, to their table to have a couple of glasses of wine with them. At first, it was fun, until Aphrodite spilled her wine all over her dress because she so busy swooning over Marco and how hot she thought he looked when he chewed on and played with his lip ring. So they left to clean her dress up and never came back, leaving Athena alone with Andre. It was awkward a first, but then he brought her another glass of wine, and then another, and another... And another... And another... And another. And then he leaned in to kiss her. Athena pushed him back and snorted, "Stop. I'm not _that_ drunk yet"

"How can you be not that drunk yet? You've had seven glasses of wine!" exclaimed Andre.

"Yeah, well, I think you should know it's almost impossible to get a god really drunk to the point where they'll sleep with the first person they see," she said, "Unless it's Zeus... Or Apollo... But they do that when they're sober anyway so they don't count"

"...What are you talking about..." he asked, a little confused. He smirked and stood up from his chair, "I think you are a little drunk... You just need another glass or two. I'll go get you some more"

"No I don't. I'm fine" Athena exclaimed and grabbed his arm and sat him back down, "Like I told Aphrodite, do you honestly think I'm going to hook up with a random waiter the night before my daughter's wedding?"

"...Wait... So... This-This dinner is for your daughter's wedding tomorrow?" Athena nodded, "The hell? How old are you?

She bit her lip. _Aw crap. Why did I just say that?_ she thought, _How am I going to explain? I look like a freaking twenty year old!_ She took a deep breath, "I'm... Uh... twenty... eight?" Andre raised an eyebrow, "I... Lost count a couple years ago?" _Well... That is kinda true... I did stop counting after the fourteenth century... _

Andre stood up again and started to walk away, "I... Uh... Have to get back to work," he said, "I'll see you around... Maybe"

Athena rolled her eyes and drank the rest of her wine and the rest of Aphrodite's, Andre's and Marco's wine that they had left there on the table. She gladly took two more glasses and then she kind of felt like making out with Andre. "No you don't," she told herself, "That's the alcohol talking"

She thought of what she should do now. She couldn't go in her room because the either the maid and the guy from next door or Aphrodite and Marco were in there making out. She didn't want to leave the table because all the creepy waiters would start staring at her and offer her drinks every five minutes, no thanks to Aphrodite who had chosen the dress for tonight for her. It was a simple silver cocktail dress, but it was too short and showed a bit too much cleavage that caused a lot of guys to stare.

She pursed her lips and tapped her fingers on the table as she thought. About ten minutes later, she got an idea and smiled. She stood up and half walked-half stumbled over to Percy and Annabeth who were talking to Grover and Juniper. "Hey Percy?" she asked, "Have you seen your father? I need to talk to him"

"Yeah, he went up to his room a few minutes ago because his head hurt" he answered.

"Okay, thanks sweetie" she said and patted a very confused Percy's cheek.

"Uh, mom... Are you okay?" Annabeth asked.

"Y-Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Well, you mostly stumbled over here and you just called Percy sweetie and patted his cheek," Annabeth pointed out.

"I'm fine sweetie, I'm just a little dizzy, that's all" she said, "Anyway, I gotta go talk to Poseidon, I'll see you later"

She left the dining room and went up the elevator to the third floor and walked down the hall to what she hoped was Poseidon's room. She knocked on the door, "Who is it?" Poseidon asked from inside.

"It's me, Athena"

He mumbled something and opened the door dressed in green button down pajamas with little sea creature prints all over the shirt and pants, "Yes?" he asked.

"What the Hades are you wearing?" she asked.

"What?" he mumbled, "They're comfortable..."

Athena rolled her eyes and stumbled into the room, "You should have kept the tuxedo on," she said, "You looked hot with it on"

Poseidon closed the door and turned to look at Athena, "...What?"

"You looked hot"

"I... I looked... What? Are... Are you drunk?"

"Just a _liiiiiittle_," she said with a small giggle, "You know, you _could_ compliment me back"

"Okay... You, uh... Look..." he studied her for a minute and without thinking blurted out, "Sexy?" She gave him a death glare, he quickly covered his mouth and started stuttering, "Uh... I... I meant to say that... That you, uh, you look pretty... You look beautiful... Not-Not sexy... I... I don't know why I said sexy... And please don't kill me"

He cringed as Athena kept giving him her death glare and waited for a punch or slap or something. Instead, out of nowhere, she threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back. A few minutes later, he realized what was happening and pulled away, "You... You... You just kissed me... We were... We were making out... Were we just making out?"

Athena panted, "Not anymore..."

"B-B-But you're a virgin goddess, you don't go around making out with people!"

"I know... I just thought it'd be fun..."

"How... How drunk are you?" Poseidon asked.

"Drunk enough to have sex with you..." she said, "Not so much that you'd feel guilty, though"

He thought for a minute and shrugged, "Good enough for me... That's the perfect amount!"

He grabbed her hands and led her to the bed where they began making out again. Athena pulled away, "You know... It's weird... This doesn't doesn't feel weird at all"

"I know" said Poseidon.

She looked at him, "You're a really great kisser"

He gave her a player grin, "Well, I have kissed over thousands of women" Athena rolled her eyes but smiled, "You wanna go under the covers?"

She nodded and they ran to the other end of the bed and slipped under the covers. Athena took of her dress and watched as Poseidon quickly took off his pajamas, "You're really fast, you know"

"Yeah... Well... The last woman I had sex with was Percy's mom" he said, "This is the first time in twenty-five years"

She rolled her eyes again and then they widened as she had a scary realization, "We're gonna see each other naked... We're going to see each other naked!"

"Yeah..." He said as if he just realized that too, "...On three?"

"On three" she nodded.

"One..."

"Two..."

"Three!"

They exclaimed at the same time and pulled the covers up and looked under. When the put the covers back down they both had the look of mortified little kids who had just walked in on their parents, "Well..." started Poseidon, "...I think our friendship has just been ruined..."

Athena shrugged, "Meh, since when we friends?"

"Eh, you're right" He said and they began to make out again. A few minutes later, they heard someone unlocking the door, "Hades! Hades! Hades! It's Hades!" Athena pulled the covers over her just as Hades opened the door and walked in, "H-Hey, Hades... W-What are you doing here?"

"Uh... This is my room too..." he said, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, you know... Just watching a movie" They both turned to the small TV.

It was off.

"Uh... Yeah... Hey, where's that box of condoms you brought?" he said with a stupid smile on his face, "I managed to get Persephone drunk"

"It's in that blue backpack on the table over there"

"'Kay, thanks" Hades walked over to the backpack Poseidon told him and pulled out a box of condoms.

"Hey...Uh... Can... Can you give me one?" Poseidon asked as Hades was on his way out.

"Just... For you?"

"...Yeah..." He said with an sheepish look on his face.

Hades threw him a condom and gave him a weird look, "Here ya go... Go crazy..."

Once Hades left the room Athena came back up from under the covers, "You think he knew I was here?" she asked.

Poseidon shrugged and they started to make out... Again.

* * *

"Poseidon! Wake up!"

"Hmm?" Poseidon stretched in bed, "What... What time is it?"

"It's ten in the morning. We have to start getting ready for the wedding!" Athena said.

"Crap!" He sat up and put his pajamas back on.

"Yeah, I gotta go. Oh and you better not tell anyone about this" she said walking towards the door.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry. Oh and by the way... You weren't... Half bad... For your first time..." he said sheepishly.

She smiled and rolled her eyes, "You weren't half bad either for your first time in twenty five years" she opened the door to walk out and turned back around, "And remember, we are never to speak of this ever again. If you tell anyone I'm going to leave to rot in Tartarus"

"Yeah, don't worry. I won't tell anyone... So... Uh... Are..." he cleared his throat, "Are you gonna come back up tonight after the reception or something?"

"Are you going to wear the tuxedo this time or your pajamas?"

"Tuxedo"

"Then yeah, I'm definitely coming back tonight"

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**Sooo... This was supposed to be just a one shot, but now I'm thinking of putting Hades and Persephone and Aphrodite and the waiter and maybe other couples... Idk I guess if enough people ask for it then I guess I'll do it. xP **

**The scene was much funnier in Friends cause when Monica says Chandler is a great kisser he responds, "Well... I _have_ kissed over four women" xD Plus, it had Joey. And everything's much funnier with Joey in it. :3 **

**Anyway, review~? :3 **


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